


The Only

by Carlosaphina



Series: Sasha Sloan Songfics [2]
Category: Star Trek
Genre: Based off of a song by Sasha Sloan, Don't Judge Me, I Tried, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Some angst, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22622341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carlosaphina/pseuds/Carlosaphina
Summary: So like I based this off of one of my favorite songs.Kirk has been gone a long time, but his death causes Spock to have suicidal thoughts.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: Sasha Sloan Songfics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629664
Kudos: 10





	The Only

**I can't be the only one**  
**Who's lonely tonight**  
**I can't be the only one**  
**Who's drinking 'by myself**  
**Wishing that I was somewhere else**  
\--------------------------------------  
It had been a long time since Jim was here. It had been a long 80 years and nobody from the Enterprise was left. Spock rarely indulged himself in alcohol, because it didn't have much of an effect on Vulcan's metabolism, but he was getting old. Everything getting slightly fuzzy, and Spock wanted to forget.

Forget the way Jim said his name for the last time, the way Jim's mind had felt, and the fact that Picard could have saved him but didn't. Everything was painful, and Spock wished that he could stop the pain. When Jim was in the Nexus, at least the bond was muted and not severed. Now the bond was bleeding, crying, hurting, and Spock could do nothing.   
\--------------------------------------

**Talkin' to voices in my head**  
**Because at least they're listening**  
**Right here's an easy place to hide**  
**I'll stay in bed and shut the blinds**  
**Don't even know where I would go**

**But I know that there's gotta be somebody out there**  
**There's gotta be somebody somewhere**

\--------------------------------------  
Spock stayed in his room, and initiated deep meditation. 

***

The red Vulcan sands swirled around Spock, he looked around him and saw Earth, the "blue green marble" as Jim liked to call it, larger than it appeared on the Terran moon colonies. Earth was bleeding streams of hazel and gold that formed images of Jim, snapshots of the past. Spock was looking for Jim in his head, for their bond, any sliver of hope he could get to ascertain Jim's wellbeing, but he found none. He tried conjuring a manifestation of Jim in his head but he couldn't. 

\--------------------------------------

**No, I can't be the only**

\--------------------------------------

Despair was the first emotion to hit Spock as he realized that he truly had no part of Jim left in him. Then emptiness. Was there a point in staying for himself only? Spock was completely alone for the first time in his whole life, and he couldn't do this anymore.

\--------------------------------------

16 years later...

The bond was healing (?)! "Was Jim still alive?" Spock wondered, almost hoping for the impossible. Then he saw him, battling a hengrauggi, but alive. This Jim clearly wasn't his, but if only he could be. 

*****

The End (?)

**Author's Note:**

> I know this sucks, but please comment/give kudos so I know I'm not a total failure. :)  
> But seriously, productive commenting would be appreciated.


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